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Jokes

1)Where is God?

 

JokesThere were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor. Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep him silence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”

.The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.

When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”

The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”

2) What will u do officer

Kids JokeA policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.

“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you”

“In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

3)If he went to hell…

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

4) Dead body cycling....

Jokes that will make one roll in laughterDuring an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.

Teacher: Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

5)T.V mathmatics

Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.

- - - - - -

The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.

6)Formula for Water

Studying caroonTEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?

PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?

PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !

7)“My Dog”

Teacher : Pappu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Pappu : No, teacher, it’s the same dog… we both wrote on!!!

8)A Poor Family Essay

A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as…

Once upon at time there was a poor family, husband and wife both were both poor, their two children were also very poor.

All the servants on that house were also poor, the driver and security guard of the house were also poor, the four dogs in the house were also very poor. They haven’t eaten chicken for two days, Two BMW car weren’t properly serviced for a long time. All the A.C on the house were not working, the house hasn’t been painted for a year, The family hadn’t gone for a holiday trip to foreign country for six months and among 5 T.V two of them were not working, As a whole it was a very poor family.”

9)Violin Practice

Little Radha was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the newspaper.

The family dog was lying and as the screeching sounds of little Radha’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”

10)Jor se bolo…

Teacher : ‘A’ for?

Student : Apple !!!

Teacher : Jor se bolo…

Student : JAI MATA DI

11) why did u eat it?

A toddler points to the tummy of his pregnant mom and asks what's there in it?

The mother replies -"A cute little baby"

The toddler quips back - If it was so cute, why did you eat it?

12) How does a car Start?

Jokes,LOLRam : Did you hear, Dad just bought a new car?

Sham : What kind of car?<./p>

Ram :I don't remember. But I know it starts with Z.

Sham : Don't hide facts. No car starts with Z. Every car starts with petrol only.

13) Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

Jokes, Kids JokesThe little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “God? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

14) Two tight slaps

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?

She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.

The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable“.

15) Mathematics!!!

Jokes,kids JokesMath Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.

16)Road Signs

Sign on a railway station at Patna:

Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye to khana free.

Sign on the Military training camp

Its God’s responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It’s our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.

 

17)Where were you born

Jokes,LaughingTeacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”

Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.

Teacher: Spell it?

Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

Born in…

18) I was born in Punjab!

Boss: Where were you born ?

Sardarji: Oye Punjab.

Boss: Which part?

Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

19) Murga sardar tha…

Kids Joke and laughterA Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.

Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?

Waiter: Woh langra tha.

Sardar: Dil?

Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.

Sardar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga sardar tha…

20) BUS ACCIDENT

One day a bus gets an accident which were filled up with some sardarjis.

Then one of the Saradarji starts to cry very loudly saying I have lost my hand, I have lost my hand…

After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don’t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn’t utter even a single word, how silent he is…”